Its time for some magic in my life and march is going to be all about magic. This idea came to me as floated in the swimming pool.
I have been in a bad flux for the past few months. If I were to adjectivise my last 6 months it would go like so; Oppressive – October, Nerve wracking – November, Depressing – December, January,Frustrating February.
My personal Life has taken a tail spin, Family before you hyperventilate, My marriage has not! I love the hubbs to bits and he has been my rock of Gibraltar through all of this. We have been married for seven years and have tried to conceive for the past four of those. Its been cycles of medicines and depression. We decided to try IUI and did no have much success through that. My doctor suspected my Obesity to be the root of my problem. She asked me to take a break and lose weight.
Children bring me joy and happiness, and not having my own,I feel cheated and deceived. Every passing day is a struggle for me not to give into my depression. I am supposed to ear right work out.Some days, I win and some days I loose. For a long time I have lost more than I have won. Then I saw this Pin on pinterest.
Was That really possible? I wondered . So I got up and walked on my rickety old treadmill in my building complex. 45 Minutes later, I felt better . The heaviness that I had been carrying not only in heart( not just my body) was a little lighter.
Though , It was the most convenient thing to do, I did not hit the treadmill each day. I walked in the morning, did a little yoga. My focus shifted to finding the best mix of workouts suited for me . I am not the most self motivated person and I needed some thing to Motivate and Push me at the same time.
My answer came in form of my Pilates Instructor pooja from transformpilates. She Has inspired me to work towards being fit. Somehow she has the right balance of Pushing he class and Motivating you do just go on. Her personal attention to each participant in her class has connected well with me. However as time went by I realized I could not do well at Pilates unless i supplemented it with some cardio. Treadmill again? No way. I decided to take up swimming again. On March 1st I signed up for swimming coaching.
I wish I could say, I am all better now. It is a daily struggle. Every time I got into the pool or warmed up before Pilates, I would question it all. These thoughts would spiral into a conversation that had nothing to do with workouts. Questioning ones Self esteem is the worst thing to do , I guess.
But enough is enough. I had to think of something else to do as opposed to wallowing in self-pity. I decided March would be “Magical March” Not “Miserable March”. There has to be magic in this world. I choose it.
As I set out to find magic each day, My approach has shifted. I am starting to appreciate the smaller things. I should document this some how . Not sure